I was running today. I was running and I was listening to MUM (pronounced, "moom"). Mum is an Icelandic band I discovered a bit ago and I like them, all glitchy synth beat soft and twinkling.
I don't often run with music but I was presented with a full day of Lazy so I needed something to motivate. A shuffle is hardly a human companion full of stories, but you can fit a solid amount of song selection on it and they clip nicely to sports bras without any chafing so I felt it was a solid second option.
So I zoned and I ran in the perfectly pear-shaped zone that was roughly 5 miles. And in that zone I listened to the lyrics of a song by Mum. I mean really listened to the lyrics and I liked them because I didn't really understand them until I listened less and they made perfect sense. I know that doesn't make any sense if you think about it, but if you don't really think about it, it makes perfect sense. It's like trying to pick apart a poem by e.e. cummings. If you try to break it up and decipher it, you will have lost his intent. But if you just read it through over and over you hear and see exactly the feeling he is trying to portray. And finding that feeling is like discovering gold flecks in an otherwise ordinary stone.
Isn't that life? We try to decipher and analyze everything. We want to know exactly what it would mean if we gave up That for This. If we fell in love with an Idea would we fall away from a history of collecting Logic? Or can I have both and what would that mean for all the unturned stones out there, with their bellies collecting treasures in the dark? Would I get to see what I missed if I walk away?
I'm guilty (so guilty!) of analyzing my life. Trying to figure out my stop-gap or what the toll road looks like down the line. What price do I pay for the choices made today? A friend of mine is graduating from the Naval Academy and has to decide where she wants to be in 5 years (military or real-world work) because ultimately the decisions she makes now will affect her rank in the future. This is all of us everywhere and we can eat ourselves up with stress or we can throw our wardrobe of worry into the fires and cleanse ourselves, refine ourselves and find our balance. We can stop trying to decipher the song and instead enjoy the music. That's where you find gold. Life and everything in it is ours to gain.