acronymin the spectacular you in my vernacular.

It's amazing what you can do when you don't feel like it. Remember how awesome you are, even though you're name is relatively normal (I'd like to thank Krista, Adam, Alyssa, Paul, Leah, Caitlin and myself for acronymin' practice)*

K angaroos
R ide
I n
S tyle
T o
A ntipasti restaurants

A rmadillos
D ig
A nt
M armalade

A rachnids
L et
Y ou
S leep
S oundly
A nd then attack!

P latypus
A lgae
U ndermines
L ichen

L lamas
E at
A rtichoke
H earts

C arebears
A ren't
I llegal
T il
L ies
I nvolve
N uns

K oalas
A pply
Y armulkes


* a dedication to my former rockstar team at arnold.  one day when we were bored, when we had nothing to do, we discovered truth about animals and fake animals, too.  this is also on my fbook page.  i found it and refell in love with it.  i love it when that happens.  i also love the word refell, because it sounds like refill, but like, it's totally not.


xosmile.
kay

a buffalo belief

never, ever, ever give up.


(it's tempting to rush through and skip to the "good" parts, but watch it as it happens. worth it.)
xokay

10 kilos of kay, tonight only.

i am alternating hands tonight - one wine, one water crocs hang on one bare foot black leggings and an Urban Outfitter sweatshirt that was waaaaay too expensive for the hole that I found in the armpit days later which may or may not have been caused by rough-housing on Sanitas Trail two years ago and which may or may not have lost its duct tape bandage in the wash last month.  i still wear it with love and memories.  the skull on the back freaks out small children.  i pay no mind.  skulls are a fact of life.

so is the tip of the tongue, the lips and the teeth and so is the fact that my college acting coach made us say this exact line every day during warm up.  it works.  i pronounce things better when i say this a few times.  i get my m’s working for me.  I get my communication on.  i will do this on wednesday at 10:30am while sipping coffee and staring at my resume.  i will be cool.

but will i be tall?  i can’t decide between flats or heels because i’ve got some verticalness on my bones and i like the sky up here and i prefer to see over heads on elevators and in lines but i hate staring down at people and hunching when i shake their hands or before i sit and start to talk about me.  and unless you’re tall that is what happens.  and it’s good to not intimidate and it’s equally good not to self yourself short, pun intended. 

now my drawers are open and a very large banana republic bag sits on my bed with clothes i bought and have yet to try on.  i almost got hives when i tried on a blouse in the dressing room and judy, my favorite salesperson of all time ever who’s known me for ten years and i know all about her successful son in new york with the sweet apartment and new puppy i wonder what job he has (probably banking) judy doesn’t believe my severe discomfort in button-downs until I show her the blouse and i feel claustrophobic and i start to sweat.  i hate tailored clothes so my life will be lived out in funky clothes.  it will be written on the jar that bears my ashes “She Wore Funky Clothes”  but I bought the blouse for this one day. first impressions are everything and I have a nickname i need to live up to.  i’ll try it on tomorrow, or at Poison’s when my nervous energy decides to show up.  always late and right on time.  

speaking of time here i am with a nice malbec and i’m thinking i should go to bed or go to argentina make the wine and forget about this interview that has me happy and wondering if kay miller will rock the real world ever/again?  the malbec says yes, the water says drink more of me and since i head to the bean tomorrow to eat dinner with my good friend and prep for the magical wednesday meeting, water wins.

xokay

The Cowboy

"The harder the heart, the longer it lasts," he said to me while walking past.


I looked at his hands as he sanded the pine and I thought to myself, "The tree's?  Or mine?"


xo,
©kmills

You You You

i talk about my sister all the time.  how we're twins, wombmates, bff's and life adventurers on different paths but sharing the same Miller zest that i swear swims in our veins.  I haven't really talked about my brother, Pete, who's a few years younger and the coolest bro God could ever give me.  He endured a lot of sisterliness from Mary and I growing up...especially from me.  Mary wanted to be a teacher, taught him math in our make-shift "school house" in the basement while I played with Heart Family Barbie and listened to NKOTB, while he wrote his 123s, no big deal.  My middle sister (technically) role was the School of Hard Knocks.  I kicked him in the kidney's when I was 7 because he was totally pointing his hand in front of my eyes while I was trying to watch Duck Tails and it was, like, a really cool episode.  Although it was cut short because we had to sit around and wait for him to use the bathroom to determine if I'd actually busted kidney #1 and therefore would need to mad-dash it to el hospitale.  I was the unruly one.

But he endured.  He even loved me long after I used to hide under his bed (which was made in 1801) and would push on the springs once I thought he was asleep and he would be TERRIFIED that a monster was under there.  I did that at least once a week for a year and he still never caught on.  Although he did launch himself onto his bed from the hallway, too afraid to get near the bed skirt for fear of The Monster (which was me holding my nose with tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard at the stunt I was about to pull).  Sometimes I could convince Mary to join me.  Anyway, Pete grew up and so did I and no longer was he the brother I saw fit to torture in my small little ways  - though always I loved him.  My dad used to  say, "He's going to grow taller than you, Kay.  And then you'll be in for it."  He did grow taller - much taller than me.  But at that time, we sort of each started realizing how important we were in each other’s lives.  And we became great friends.  The Three Sibs: Mary, Kay and Pete.  

Today we talk on the phone all the time.  Right now, Pete is in the throes of absolute awesome opportunities and I am so so so proud of him and this beautiful creative gift of voice God has given him.  A few years ago, Pete wanted to learn to play the guitar (I think the initial reason was so that he could carry forth the long-held tradition of musicality that runs in our extended family - mainly in the patriarchs - which is on great display during our every-other-year Miller Family Reunion held all over the country), and it stuck and he played it through college with his really good friends who are in a really successful band and he just kept practicing and playing and writing and learning and jumping out on that long skinny scary branch called "New" and rocked it out.  A few days ago, Pete Miller released his FIRST album, "Shake the Dawn".  He's written the lyrics, he created the cover, he collaborated with various musicians (some of whom have played with Rustic Overtones...totally) and bit by bit, the beast was built.  It was reviewed this week by the Portland Press Herald, a beautifully written review, complete with constructive criticism and honest praise.  He’s also having a CD release party up in Portland, ME.  If you’re interested you should come.  He won’t disappoint and I can guarantee you’ll have a blast.  

Pete, I love you, bro.  And I am SO proud to call you my brother.  Keep reaching for the stars.  Keep shaking the dawn.

XOKAY 

ps - check out his site!

cherry lip gloss & egyptian sandals!

Ran the York Beaches yesterday, ice bathed in the Atlantic and stopped off for a DQ chocolate-vanilla-swirl-in-a-sugar-cone-please-and-thank-you treat.  i annihilated the ice cream in half a heartbeat.  I noticed freckles on my shoulders, yesss.  Green leaves warm breeze giant sneeze and dairy freeze.  It’s officially my summer!

horses walking my favorite beach. just another day in Maine...

xohyes,

kay

I will endure the night...

I promised myself that i'd write a reader’s digest version of the Cape 13 Relay that took place this weekend, and would omit such trivialities like the discussion of Jamie Foxx’s tongue trick as seen on Oprah, Van #2‘s car alarm going off at 2am and requiring a wire to be cut out of the vehicle because the electronic key’s battery died, which also required our Runner #8 to hitch a ride with another van to the transition, which also required Runner #9 to ride a bike to his transition due to vanlessness. Yes, true story. Van #2 was dubbed JV Van. Van #1 was full of Twizzlers and empty water bottles and knives with peanut butter still on them and halves of bananas turning brown on the floor, bibs pinned to seatbelts, sweaty sports bras slung over seats; afterthoughts of quick wardrobe changes. We smelled like chocolate cruellers, chicken parmesan and sweat. We were drunk on the oxygen of the final notes of Girl Talk’s “Feed The Animals” and LCD Soundsystem. We were in love with our toughness:) We were part of a the centipede of Road Warriors of all shapes and sizes! We were Land Vikings! Oblivious to the water crisis just north of us, but wondering why the “1 mile to go!” signs were actually 1.5 miles. Ugh so defeating:)  


What I will tell you are the importantly fun things, like how cool it was, as a relay veteran, to witness the magic of eleven people taking on this great big thing, something they have never ever done before, and watching their doubts turn to unbridled energy because they saw that their body CAN. that their mind CAN. That they are bigger than the fear of being bigger than something. It was so inspiring.


It was also really humbling to see the fruits of my own day-in, day-out training come to fruition for my three runs of the relay. I have been on this training program for no real reason, no race in mind, just wanting to build my endurance and speed.  My body has gotten fitter and stronger, and I was completely blown away in seeing firsthand how constant practice and hard work can make those few glimmering moments of racedom amazing. I told Mary (gave me a training program back in January) how this weekend is a real testament to the mantra I’ve repeated in my head for weeks when my body wanted to take a few days off and eat chocolate for hours: consistency breeds results.


i wasn’t even supposed to run this relay this weekend. I thank God for the opportunity. He knew I needed something and He knew I was ready for this - not just in running but in hanging out with cool peeps and perfect strangers.  To be able to say YES, and to have done it, feels good. So does meeting new incredible humans, sharing sweat and candy bars with said humans, and so does the reminder of how beautifully sweet s-l-e-e-p is once it’s all over:)


And with that, here’s a song that was consistently thrumming in my hypothalamus throughout the race. How can you not run joyfully into the great expanse? And no, I didn’t wear headphones. I have music playing in my head always & happily.


x+oh,
kay