I’m turning 30.
in one week, at 12:06am I will be in a new decade of my life. Lot’s of people consider birthdays about as fun as lead balloons - especially as they arrive at an age they consider “old”. Well, I’ll go on record for telling you that I FLIPPN LOVE that I’m turning 30. For many reasons.
- i never thought I would. Seriously. When I was 18, I figured I would go to college, graduate, marry the guy I dated, and by the time I was 24 I would have children and then the rest of the years just sort of faded out in my mind because, I suppose in my teenage brain, I’d felt that having done all those things would’ve checked the boxes of Things to Accomplish in Life. I’m almost 30 and it’s a totally new color wheel of amazingness and adventure ahead. i ask you: what is not to love?
- The last 10 years have taught me a lot. Like, A TON. I went from proper education to whirlwind working world; small town to city; being comfortable in my own skin to being extremely unfamiliar; confident to completely up-anchored and back again. I learned how to manage a checkbook, to cook complicated things (i don’t do this often, ever). But still, I learned. I learned what heartache was. What heartbreak and heartjoy meant. I learned the gravity of words. I learned how wide and deep and how strong my heart was. It’s not just a muscle for pumping my blood to all the bits, it’s got walls and corners and catapulting machines I never knew existed. I grew up in me. I swept away my own cobwebs, I held the mirror to my face, I rejoiced or desperately searched for the mustard seed of faith I knew I owned because God put it there and I’d seen it before, mostly in the hard times. I loved these last 10 years and now it’s time to let them go. So I send them off with a million thank-yous. They taught me well.
- I have a twin to share it with. And she is definitely the coolest person in the world, so while there are millions of humans with my birthday, I have someone I love to share it with, and that’s really an awesome thing. imagine getting a phone call 13 minutes before your birthday and having that person shouting to the heavens “I’m older than you are! I’m 16 first! I’m 21 first! I just turned a quarter-of-a-century! Yayyyy for me!” Imagine two cakes every year. Imagine getting a wake-up tap or a phone call at in the middle of the night from the one person who shared life with you before you were technically born. That’s her. That’s why it’s an honor to be here. We get to celebrate life together, no matter where we are.
- Friends. Duh. Friends and Family are the Russian Nesting Dolls by which this tiny old me can safely exist. I love em. I have a GREAT blog coming up of last weekend’s incredible Friday filled with amazin humans who turned out to the Miller household for some good old-fashion fun. Talent Night! Bonfire! Tents on the lawn! A kitchen resplendent with Mom’s famous brownies! Hodgie’s bottle of Tanqueray! my therapist (ha), copious amounts of raps, mad guitar and djembe skills, harmonies, story-telling and the like. Friends from all walks of my life. Friends who drove up, biked extra miles across the country just to be there, walked up the street, drove from Philly, all to be together. Family who spent the day preparing, welcoming, helping, and laughing. Forget birthday, these were the best people in my life and I was happy to see them all together.
- My faith has been rocked a few times. By death, by my own stupidity, by allowing life to grow bigger and allowing God to grow smaller. But in my reflecting, in my sitting here and spinning through memories of my days on Masque Farm as a child, in my father’s arms after my beloved Grandma Barb passed away, barefoot on a walk with my Mom, University, falling in love for the first time, my first apartment, the study abroad, my most recent adventure of living at home while I figured out the map of my life.........all of these things have the fingerprint of God; a discernible vein through the center of every moment that ever was. He who has always known who I’d be and how I’d get there, guiding me. And in grace I take the next step into this great new decade.
And finally, I am excited to turn thirty because quite honestly, I really like me. I really like who I’m becoming and I look forward to seeing how much more I can grow and get to know this girl, this woman, this Kay (slap some bread around that cheese and call it a sandwich. whatever, it’s true).
here’s to another decade in t-minus 7 days and counting...